Thursday, December 27, 2012

Funny New Year quotes and jokes

A friend asks his friend for a cigarette.
His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking".
The man says, " I am in the process of quitting". Right now, I am in the middle of phase one. 
What's phase one? 
''I've quit buying.''


You know its time for a New Year's Resolution to Lose Weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please!" 


"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in.
 A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
~Bill Vaughn~ 



''I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the New Year and when they arrive I'll say I ordered this 
 damn pizza a year ago!''  :-)
~Unknown~ 


''Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. ''
~Anonymous~




New Year's Resolutions
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning.   
When I hear a funny joke, I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Stop exercising. Waste of time.
Read less. Makes you think.
:-)




















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